Finally All the Black Screen are coming to rest (If you do not know what exactly  Y2k38 problem is , then Google it,  should i mention here everything?? )

F***k Yaa, F**k Unix,I dont Care, I just need Salary hike commented Gnupendra Javahar , a software engineer from Bangalore who just reached home at BTM Layout after 3.5 hrs of travel from his office in Silk Board Junction.

Unfazed by the lack of catastrophes, Roland Emmerlich, the director of the successful movie 2012, is already planning a sequel to the movie. Titled 2038, the movie is about how the world is destroyed by UNIX computers suffering from the Year 2038 Problem The movie is set to hit theatres in 2014.

But in a breaking news Al Keyda anounced that they are no more using Unix based systems for Missile Launch so they will be safe from this bug. The spokesperson of Al Keyda,Bomb El Haakti also mentioned that they have already outsourced the old Unix based systems to an Indian  software firm.The tech lead of Al Keyda also quoted that Windows 7 is awesome which they are currently using for guiding suicide bombers. Microsoft chairmen Bill Gates was unavailable for comment.

The Apocalypse Association, a non-profit organization promoting calamities and disasters, has filed a lawsuit against the Mayan civilization, after they  predicted that world will end in 2012.But defending their argument, K’inich Ahkal Mo’ Nahb the lone surivor of Mayan Dynasty commented “n*****n world-e iralla, wiruu  iralla currentuu iralla, nan makla innu Unix system hengo irutte 2038 nalli..”

The Info Servers , an Indian data hosting company announced in a press conference that they are planning to shred 300 Unix based  servers in a phase wise manner starting from September 2010. Cashing on this opportunity Heera Laal Panna Laal , a pawn broker at malleshwaram has put up a board outside his shop which says”Old Unix Systems for sale 50% * discount-Gaurantiyaagi maadi Kodalaguttade”.

Disclamer: Kindly do not plagiarize my writings. If you feel an intense urge to copy my creativity then drop me an e-mail and you will get a mouthful for even entertaining  that thought of copying my blog. Also another way to look at it is, by copying my blog,  you are only popularizing me. In a way I should thank you but I’m not interested in your advertising efforts. So kindly refrain from plagiarizing my blog. I hope this is clear.

Version 1.0 (Read at ur own Risk )

We  stare at the mirror every morning and the person you see slowly begins to look like a stranger!! We  spend all day thinking about ourselves—or believing we are thinking about ourselves. As a child we had never ever  had to bother about fears , Fear of what might happen to us. Fear of starvation. Fear of failure. Fear of pain. Regret. Loss—of ourselves, or of others!!!

We start from the home every morning with a fear of reaching late .. Ohhh.. No …. Traffic jam again…

Somehow reached the office ; now  what? Fear of PLs negative  feedback on  the work you have finished last evening. And so on …. Ok Ok, leave it, this is what we all experience every day. But its time to imagine how your “Dream Job” would be….

But how about this???

Version 2.0 

 We  stare at the mirror every morning and the person you see slowly begins to look like a   stranger!!

And say Ohh ,….Damn , Have I grown dispropornately last night??? Huh?? I guess Horlicks that I had must have  adulterated!!!! :)

 We start from the home every morning with a fear of reaching late. Somehow you managed to reach office and as soon as you open the door , you see Boss sitting in the revolving chair staring at you.

Sometime you really think the chair would have rotated at astronomical l revolutions and send your boss to outer space. But you still maintain the “Smile” on your face.

Boss: I think you are very early for lunch break.

You: (Stare at Clock) , Ohh No.. I think I just had a time travel. But honestly tell me ,what standard timings you follow???

Boss: (Frustrated): What the hell.??!!

You: No,  just wanted to tell you  its very early for breakfast ,I always get confused between Moon Standard Timings (MST)  and IST a lot nowadays .

Now Boss is about to throw his coffee cup at you, ….

You: Ohhh.. I think I just heard Ravi, calling me for a tea break, may be I ll catch ya later.But do

join me for lunch, I like the curry made by your Wife the other day a lot. Now it makes him things about his wife and Curry connections. you are safe for time being!!

And you never return from cafeteria.

And meetings are something I always look for; the typical meeting on a fancy day should go like this;

You: My market research indicates that 50% of your customers are above the median age. But the shocking discovery was that 50% were below the median age.

 Boss:May be then we have to change our product portfolio.

 You: Not exactly, we will start manufacturing the other 50% of the products which were never    manufactured.

 ( Now you pretend to be in deep thought and your boss is already impressed )

 Boss:But what percent are exactly the median age?

 You: I’m proposing to study that in phase two. 

 You come out of meeting room with a sense of satisfaction.The curious teammate is eager to  know what had happened inside.

 Teammate1: What was happening inside?

 You: I just told boss that the alien language is the only thing that I do not understand as of  now  . And told him  if he could send me on a vacation to Mars , I ll learn that too.

 By the way I forgot to mention about my desk where I have a print out pasted on my work are which reads like this .” I like to con people. And I like to insult people. If you combine con & insult,  you get consult! And I am a CONSULTANT ” no wonder 

Disclamer: Kindly do not plagiarize my writings. If you feel an intense urge to copy my creativity then drop me an e-mail and you will get a mouthful for even entertaining  that thought of copying my blog. Also another way to look at it is, by copying my blog,  you are only popularizing me. In a way I should thank you but I’m not interested in your advertising efforts. So kindly refrain from plagiarizing my blog. I hope this is clear.

Statutory Warning:This blog begins with unusually long prelude .

I felt my whole body and mind rejuvenated after a much needed nap. The water drop from leaky bus window splashed all over my face made me to come back to reality.The Bus, The Highway , The Sea, The Hills…Yes everything is so live and breathing. When I peeped out of my bus window I saw endless Arabian sea on my left and unconquered mighty Western Ghats to the right. That’s when I realized I was  travelling in NH-17 .And NH-17 is one of the most beautiful highways of India where one gets a chance to see both Sea and lush green forest landscape side by side.

But my mind  was in no mood to comprehend this fact. Ohhhh… I had already travelled more than 70 kms away from my home.Each milestone passed by taking me   away and away from my home. .The strange sound of heavy downpour felt like as if they read all things going on in my mind. As much as I dislike being out in the rain, I find that the sound of the rain on my windows or outside relaxes me.I closed my eyes and tilted my head back slightly, my nostrils flared. I inhaled the scent of the trees in the woods, smelling the ocean waters, and the rich, earthy smell of metal. Yes it was the smell of rusted seat handle of the bus. Back to reality once again :)….I was on my way to Udupi. I was leaving home for duration of 2 years. My head was heavy  because that was the first time in 16 years I would be out home,away from loved ones  . I felt like I missed my High Schol days very much.. Why can’t they have High School studies fo atleast 6 years???   But at the same time my mind was full of excitements about the place I was going to.I was heading to Udupi. I remember rain! Lots and lots of rain and with it, lots of mud and cool breeze and lots of sweet memories that I can cherish through whole life.

 It was the Inaugural Ceremony of the Ist PU classes.I was lost in the crowd for the second time in my life. I remember neither the faces nor the location of the ceremony that took place now. But all that I remember is that it was raining outside with a cool breeze which carried inexplicable salty taste of Arabian Seas. I did not bother listening to all those ridiculous speeches  like Vision ,Mission Statement of college uttered by the chairman and code of conduct speech by Principal. That was so obvisious.Sometimes I wonder why these ‘Big People’ waste their precious time doing this unavoidable rituals every year. And no wonder ,ghoshhh!! Those Visions, Missions never changed in last 30 years…What did they achieve in total is, zero indeed..hahah!!! :) But I was totally lost in calculations; how it would have been if I was admitted to Ujire PU college in Mangalore instead of MGM college in Udupi. I couldn’t resist praising my dad’s  confidence in me that I would get a seat in this college after rejecting seat in Ujire college because of accommodation issues.Its worth mentioning here that the fact , I was The last student to get admitted to my batch in MGM college for Ist PUC.Thank god I had  good marks in SSLC otherwise I would never made it to that college,and whole my life would have been different from what it is now. May be I wouldn’t have got the opportunity to write this blog, sitting lazy in office chair like this. And the funny fact was  that if I was not admitted to Science stream in PU in Udupi then my plan B was to get enrolled my ass to  Arts stream  in college back home to pursue Civil Service later after graduation. Plan B looks so bizarre and irrelevant now.

 I think college is a high priced daycares that provide entertainment for people above the age of 16. Disenfranchised young people go to get sound sleep, get down with it, and spend thousands of rupees to get a degree that won’t be relevant to their job, just so they can be “well-rounded”.That was just another stupid statement by me..Leave it

 But the college life was full of screw ups and good friendships. I met amusing characters like Arun(Wannabe Doctor, I am not sure whether he made it to MBBS after series of supplementary exams J); Faraz,the gentlemen among all my friends;Arjun,nice Hangout type guy who loved Srilanka and Boeing for various personal reasons who later joined BMSCE with me for Engg and became famous as “Rogi” among B’lore machas n machis ;Subhodh,super cool dude who inherited all typical Mangalorean characteristics,Pappu,the showman with his FIAT Padmini car in which we roamed all around and the transport for all our criminal activities :):) ; Vivek(fifi)Wannabe mini edition of Tollywood Hero,and not but the least Vikas ,the rebel of all generations who was like mini version of Che Guevera ,who hated almost everything in everyday life right from the way our Princi dresses to thick Mallu accent of our English teacher.:):):):)

 So now we had a “gang” . And we badly needed a gang leader ,and Pappu was natural leader with his all capabilities and “contacts” with reach upto D, E and A sections of Ist PU classes.Now we were a perfect gang with no real time tasks/assignments to carry out .So we utilized all our time in world to make sure that we would sit in the vary last bench of the class and started commenting and criticizing every possible thing in the world .In mean time we specialized in various lifesaving skills like ‘Proxy’ ,copying in Tests  and most notably how to escape through back door out of the class after attendance. This was very deadly skill with high risk factor but also with high returns.:)

 How can I forget those Basketball matches with other sections guys in which our patriotism ran in each drop of blood and ended up in disputes with other section guys after the each match. And the pure taste of Mangalore Buns-The coastal version of Italian Pizzas :):) deep fried in coconut oil.Manipal was the hangout place for everyone. Each time we passed by those big buildings of MIT and KMC the determination to pass the IInd PU got stronger n more relevant.  :D

We survived all storms on our way.Attendence shortage for me was as real as my life itself. We encountered terrorizing lectures of Zoology teacher L,Chemistry lab experiments particularly those ridiculous titration experiments Which never yielded positive results anyway J,the brainstorming maths classes which seemed like unfiltered version of Einstiens theory of relativity and drenching Sanskrit lectures with heavy downpour:):):).And not to forget physics classes which were equally boring so as  the teacher himself. Sometimes we were so busy during Physics classes in finding out whats the most boring thing in the world??? The subject or the lecturer himself???? I still remember one of our Physics lecturer who brought a instrument to explain wave motion which looked like Ancient Shaving kit from Egypt pyramids to us. He churned it ,banged it but unfortunately we cudnt see any Wave Motion out of it.OMG!!!!That was so hilarious we died laughing all the way …ROFL. :):):):)

 Finally all these pain stacking journey came to end with all of us successfully completing IInd PU J J.All of us managed to pass the exams with ‘some’ of us getting high flying scores and ‘rest’ of us with freakingly low scores . I don’t want to mention what is the Ratio of “some” and “rest” in last sentence though. It’s obvious and understood. Some words, sometimes better unsaid. :)lolz ………..

 And as a rule of thumb this blog should have a happy ending.so here goes the credits and comments to all charecters of this blog . Pappu,Arjun,Vikas ,Subhodh, and I managed to get into engineering somehow somewhere.Faraz got into MBBS with ease and even Arun but only after n* (* n is an imaginary number here) number of attempts,Fifi is well settled with his family here.

Now I was all set to rock and roll my engineering life and story of which will last for several editions for sure. So till then Good bye……………

Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived.   – Jean Lun picard

Taller

the trophies which were almost of my size…

And finally 3 years passed and not to forget about my BSA SLR cycle that i got during the summer holiday of 8th standard..I did all sort of stunts on my bicycle including Wheeling and rolling stoppies. :)..But i always enjoyed my fullest during these three years of my life. And i will come up with new staories in my next “Walks of Life” series which i have been thinking hard to put into sentences..

I never tried to emphasize on these words until i redeem this sentence from a website i was browsing through few days back.While I can’t claim to be the happiest person in the world (I wish I could ), I do learn something about it.Then i thought, let me share some of my “little” things which made me feel great right from my childhood.

What makes us to remember some of these moments even though they are 0.0001% of our lifetime…???? I always wonder..

When i was at school with innocence filled to core always dreamt of being a Police officer.Even we mimicked with “Kalla Police Aata ” and no wonder i always argued that i will be Police always during the game.. I thought jod of a police officer is not so tough (less risky i would say..) as they always arived at the ending of the movie,by that time Hero of the movie would have beaten Villain black n blue .Thanks to all action filled climax scenes of movies which i wathed occasionaly as we never had a TV in our home during my childhood..But sometimes i was very embarresed by the  charecters of “Bad Police officers” in some movies who used to do all sort of nasty things together with Villains like Backstabbing and not to forget all those dancers in Bikini  in club.But everything changed when we got a first TV in our home when i was in 2nd standard.I started wondering police job is not so lucrative as i watched patriotic serials in DoorDarshan.

It was rainy season and we all know in western ghats it doesn rain but it pours.I always had a hard time to go to school because i had to walk all the way to school approx. 1 kms(it was a just a begining as i had to walk 5 kms to my High School ) in a muddy road.But the games we played in the rain are unforgettable.And once even i saw a King Cobra right in front of my eyes at a distance of 50 mts…luckyly my father was accompanying me that day  .Along the road to school we witnessed many Waterfalls which were purely seasonal. We had a great companions like Crabs , Toads , Turtles which sometime even entered our classrooms. Our first priority was to stop those creature from enterting into our “Chaddis”(Yup …that was all the uniform we had till 7th standard…shirts were always white colored but color of the chaddis changed after each assembly election..i still wonder.:.):))

In my school days I had a great companion and a competitor who lived nearby my home. He was a born shooter. He always outpowered me in throwing stones at Honey Comb and at mango trees. He had a record of  plucking 5 mangoes in a one shot of stone. . But i was always cunny …one fine day  i pelted stone at a Honey Comb which was on the tree branch exactly at top of his head where he was standing. But aftermath was not so happy as we both felt the burnt as Honey bees entered inside of our chaddis and shirts and took the shit out of our ass :):):):) .

There are lots more interesting things to share……i will try to put those things into words in my next blog…….:):):):):)

He’s just the kind of manYou hear about
Who leaves his family forAn easy out
They never saw the signs
He never said a word
He couldn’t take another day

Carry me to the shoreline
Bury me in the sand
Walk me across the water
And maybe you’ll understand

Once the stoneYou’re crawling under
Is lifted off your shoulders
Once the cloud that’s rainingOver your head disappears
The noise that you’ll hear
Is the crashing down of hollow years

She’s not the kind of girl
You hear about
She’ll never want another
She’ll never be without
She’ll give you all the signs
She’ll tell you everything
Then turn around and walk away

Carry me to the shoreline
Bury me in the sand(Into the waves)
Walk me across the water
And maybe you’ll understand

Once the stoneYou’re crawling under(Once the stone)
Is lifted off your shoulders
Once the cloud that’s rainingOver your head disappears
The noise that you’ll hear
Is the crashing down of hollow Years……….